Hello, my friends and the occasional relative!

I have not made much progress this week. My day job has been rather more demanding recently, but that isn’t the excuse. Or if it is, it’s a bit lame.

The book is ready. I have progressed with formatting, but not enough. And the fact is I’m not pursuing it with much urgency. I’m not sure why.

I believe in the book, the story, the characters, but I also think, in my heart of hearts, that it is an odd creation. When first I thought of it, I conceived of it as two slaves on divergent paths discussing freedom. It isn’t that anymore, it is much better, though I still like that original idea.

It wasn’t Thena’s story then. It is now. She is fantastic. But I’m numb to the publication process, I can’t find it in me to be excited by this part. It’s easy to let another week slide by, minimal progress made.

Am I afraid? Is this some new variant of doubt assailing me? Maybe, but I don’t feel it as an active emotion. Am I distracted by the new project? No. I grow increasingly fond of the new world I created as a diversion, but will now use as a series of experiments, my next planned large book delayed to allow me to learn and experiment more with the art and craft of storytelling. So I can be better prepared to do it justice. Not sure I can really delay that gratification too long, but I have some new lessons to absorb and implement. I did some study this week, which did provide new insights into my own writing habits, allowed me to recognize old patterns of behaviour, see how to use them better in future. That was good.

So, my faceless friends, I am in a curious limbo, suspended in grey space, manuscript at my side, a door ahead of me I am disinterested in opening. I move toward it as if underwater, a sluggish ballet I can’t be bothered choreographing. I’ll get there in the end. Getting there ugly is as good as pretty. Maybe next week. Or the one after.

Until next week, my friends, I hope you are possessed of rather more motivation than I.

This blog brought to you by the Under the Midnight Sun album by The Cult. 2022 release, just got it for Christmas. I need to give it a few more listens, but I like it so far!